


Musings of an Almost Widow

by KateC24601



Category: Castle
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 03:59:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3795895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KateC24601/pseuds/KateC24601
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would have gone through Kate Beckett's mind if Castle had died from the toxin in Dreamworld?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Musings of an Almost Widow

 

Tears streamed down her face. They had been too late. He was dead. They had administered the antidote but it was too late. It had done nothing. She was still sitting next to his body in the hospital room.

 

The look Alexis had given her was one she had seen before. She had seen this look on her face when Castle and Martha were being held hostage in the bank. That seemed like forever ago now. She could hear their stifled sobs coming from the other side of the door.

 

She didn’t feel like family to them right then. Not now that her only connection to them was dead. God, Castle was dead. She felt alienated, stranded here alone in this silent hospital room, alone with the corpse of her fiancé. God, his corpse; he was dead. Sobs wracked her body anew. Alexis was right: this was all her fault. Castle was dead because he had looked into one of _her_ cases.

 

God, Castle was dead.

 

She fingered the chain of her necklace. She hadn’t really looked at it since the other night in the bathroom mirror, when he had surprised her. When he had surprised her, she sighed, that was when the dominos had started falling, and the dominos fell and lead to his death. God, his death, he was dead, Castle was dead, her fiancé was dead. She looked back down at her necklace. A necklace that now held not one but two rings laden with death and with reminders that the people she loved were gone. They were gone and they weren’t coming back.  

 

Now not only was her mother not going to be there at her wedding – not going to be able to help her through her pregnancies with anecdotes and advice – there wasn’t going to be a wedding, there weren’t pregnancies to be helped through. Because the only man that had ever made her want those things was gone, dead.

 

God, Castle was dead.

 

She didn’t even have time to register that the door to the room had been opened before there was a sobbing Alexis in her arms, crying on her shoulder. The move only made Kate cry harder and hug the girl harder. “I’m so sorry, Alexis, I’m so sorry,” she mumbled into the girl’s hair. At that Alexis pulled back.

 

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have – I shouldn’t have said those aw-awful things to you. I know that you l-l-loved him too and I know that you-you’re hurting as much as I am. I’m so s-s-sorry I know th-this wasn’t your fault. I j-just needed someone to blame and you w-were there. I’m so sorry,” Alexis stuttered before falling back into Kate’s embrace and falling apart again into sobs.

 

Even though only seconds earlier Kate had been telling her self the exact opposite, coming from Alexis’s mouth, she believed the words and told herself over again that this wasn’t her fault. This was Brad Parker’s fault.

 

Brad Parker. The name now shared a special place of hatred in her sole along with the name William Bracken. Later she would tell Alexis all about Bracken and how she got through her mother’s death. She deserved to know. She deserved help, and Kate would help her. Alexis was right they were both hurting but they could hurt together and hurt with Martha and maybe that could take the edge off the hurt.

 

God, Castle was dead.


End file.
